Are men really the enemy?

By Friday, July 30, 2010 0 , , , Permalink 0

Today is day to hate men. It started with a little note from my father on the counter on top of five bills:

“Please pay the water and the electric and the water or they will get cut off”

Electric: $307
Water: $312
My bank account: $13.11

There are unusual circumstances to this very special request. Anyways, by the time I got back home on lunch time – had to pick up some things – sure enough, water was off. My mother was pissed –

“You father is so selfish, he never has time or money for us”

I went back to office, left my mom rambling on about the guilty individual. In the afternoon, a friend (woman#1) came over to visit my mom. She just asked for a divorce 2 days ago. Why?

“He never wants to do anything. He never takes me out anywhere – just stay home home home”

Is that really grounds for divorce? Could she try to accept him? Could he ever change? By the time I got home – around 5 – Woman #2 is sitting on the kitchen counter just crying her eyeballs out because of a fight with her husband. She is the only one with real reason to be upset –

“My husband is driving me crazy. He can’t find a job and just stays in the house bothering me all day. I am going to kill myself if he doesn’t do anything”

I tried swerving past that conversation while I grabbed some things for my tennis class. After tennis, at a girlfriends house, while she was getting ready for a coffee blind date, her mom advised us on marriage and men:

“You don’t have to feel guilty about using men. All they do is use you. Don’t feel guilty about using them, in fact, they would pay to have someone beautiful and smart by their side. I am so glad I got divorced. There’s absolutely no reason to get married again or be married.”

Each woman and each story holds particular details too complicated to be analyzed by any outsider. All we know is they are unhappy and feel unfulfilled by their male partners. But can we really depend on men to be happy? Should we? Can we analyze this to a point as to say: they will make us really happy or really unhappy?

Can’t live with them, can’t live without them seems to be the unifying theme of the day. I want to fall deeply in love. I want crave this person, his smell, his voice. I want to fly to Paris with him. Just like in a movie. James Bond passion. Twilight attraction. But this is all fantasy. Too many Disney movies. Happily-ever-after is a vanishing commodity. I want to believe Mad-Crazy-Passionate love exists – and that this love can sustain a marriage. And I just can’t.


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