Easy Criticisms…

By Wednesday, January 23, 2013 0 No tags Permalink 0

It’s so much easier to criticize than love. Loving is hard! And I think that’s just how I grew up, with a German father & a self-centered italian-arab mother, it was always easier to criticize than love.

Criticism is right there, on the tip of the tongue. Compliments & selfless serving love on the other hand, takes a calling! Takes work for me to say I love you, takes work to say have a good day or just being appreciative. That is a lot of work for me…

And I know I am not the only person with these issues, from reading my daily devotional there’s a lot of us out there that grew up with distant or messed up daddies… Yes, ladies, I am talking about daddy issues! Or mommy issues, whatever rock your boat…

It’s hard enough to find love, but it’s even harder to keep…Specially when you bring kids from a previous relationship. I have been struggling with some personal lack of contentment & just last Sunday God opened my eyes to the ton of baggage I bring in to my marriage! I just realized how my unhappiness traces back to my fears of loneliness, to my fears of the distant dad mine was…

Love is not enough! Even when you see what you are lacking, when you see what you can do better, there’s the doing part that’s hard part. Doing the love thing, day in, day out – it’s exhausting!

Me & spoiled-rotten :-)

Me & spoiled-rotten 🙂

Now once you get married, it’s your view of love and giving plus his view of love & giving –  facing each other everyday, there’s a lot more giving than love. There’s a lot more giving than getting… And if your heart is not in the right place, it’s hard. If it is, it’s still hard.

My mother in law is an amazing woman, very loving, very giving… Translation: my husband is spoiled to the bones! While he is usually complacent, he has a deep rooted level of selfiness, which my personal study of the less developed race, the human male, has still not completely explained: Is my husband less or more egoistical than the average male? And can this be yanked out (with gentle love & affection, of course!)? Should I be trying to yank this out, or this simply points to my own faults & failures as a spoiled younger child and rotten wife?

So in conclusion, there’s no conclusion. I think life in general is a path we take to try to improve ourselves along the way, trying each day to be more patient, wiser, have more compassion and more love – regardless of how hard it is & regardless of the failures of our parents. I myself am aiming for less screaming battles & a more gentle voice in 2013, a more centered person but less selfless. Definitely more loving, though hard it may be…

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