Enjoying the Season (for once!)

By Saturday, December 26, 2015 0 No tags Permalink 0

Christmas is depressing. I get why people get depressed. It feels you must have the perfect little family or the perfect little life to be able to enjoy it.

It’s been hard for me to feel like I had everything going well… I may have a tendency to focus on the bad…

And then there are gifts… We supposed to buy a bunch of stuff for a bunch of people and always wonder will they like it or not? Is this good enough or not?

Okay so I have not had the toughest life all around… but it has been far from perfect… but it has been a roller coaster of a year and I dare say we are finishing on a high note!

After some therapy (ok lots of therapy), and some fighting and some forgiving, we have made peace and are going on a last trip to LA/San Fran for some year-end done right!!

AND there’s the baby!! In my last pregnancy at 15 there was not much of celebrating or congratulating all around… And now it feels amazing, it’s so different and I feel very blessed. And I think my husband’s panic is subsiding…

I got a bit depressed when I found out about the pregnancy, I read it’s normal but still wished I felt better (since I did want a baby!). My shrink says I kinda took my husband’s panic personally and  this made sense, since at 30/33 I think a baby should not result in panic, but happiness. At 16, I had panic and it was normal. At 30, I feel I have it together enough to handle this and yes there are many issues and anxieties I didn’t have before, but I think this is the right time…

So I moved on!! If he’s not super happy, he has 6 months to get on the boat! And I can’t be unhappy because of him, I have to think of me and the baby… So that’s where my focus will be…

And merry christmas to all!!!

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