There’s nothing like our first love. Hopefully it happened when you were a teenager. And your hormones are exploding, and there are butterflies in your stomach, and every little touch makes your skin tingle.
And then hopefully you weren’t too heartbroken when it ended. Chances are, it did end. If you are still with your high school sweetheart, kudos to you. But even then, the passion is not the same.
I married that high school sweetheart. And then divorced… And that was really hard. After going through all that, makes you wonder, am I ever going to meet someone special again?
And then, it happened. After a trail of losers, I met this guy. Here’s the passion test: We have dinner. What happens in my memory the first 5 minutes of the next day??
If I can remember last night, especially WHO I was with and have a smile in my face, then hummm it’s promising. If it takes me a while to even remember what I did last night, or if it’s not a great memory hummm then oh oh.
So then I met this guy. And I could not stop thinking about him. And I had a constant smile on my face. And I am not a teen anymore – after believing this could not happen anymore, it was like a light in the end of a dark black loveless tunnel.
The truth is I knew he was separated with the divorce dealings in place. And my instincts never fail. Should not have gone out with him at all.
So we went to dinner a second time… And after for drinks… And after to the beach… And I can’t remember a more perfect night. He was the PERFECT gentleman, and fascinated by the fact that I am from Brazil. And we both had so much in common, he loves history and other cultures… just a deep level of compatibility and connection…
At this point we were talking on a daily basis, but busy schedules didn’t allow us to see each other again until I had to go on vacation for a week… I contacted him when I got back but he just drifted away.
Then what I was already feeling in my gut happened: his wife called me! I denied going out with him, because I still believe in marriage and he had a little boy whom I hate to discover what an ass he was.
What pisses me off the most is not the fact that he as an individual cheated – and had me lie.
What upsets me that when I finally believe that loving is possible, there’s a chance in loving somebody again, just like in the movies, with serendipity, crazy craving love, where you can’t stop one minute thinking about him, this all explodes.
So I am back to ground zero, or worse, going out with men that don’t really “fit” but just tired of being lonely and waiting for Mr.Right, specially after meeting another Mr. Wrong.0
Mother of three, web developer, web addict, web-everything. Love reading, writing, eating & traveling. I have recently found out success is completely unrelated to the amount of money in your bank account…